Caregiving Issues from a Broadway Star

The other night I did something I haven't done in a long time. I walked away from writing, and housework, and "go thorough stacks of paper night" to go to a show.
Anthony Rapp chose Pittsburgh's City Theater to launch a show he co-wrote based on his NY Times best-selling memoirs, called Without You.

Rapp is one of the original stars of the wildly popular, award-winning Broadway Rock Opera, and film, Rent. My husband and I got to see him perform shortly after the show's young creator, Jonathan Larson, died suddenly.
Without You revolves around Rapp's personal stories of love and loss. It touches on what it was like for Rapp to audition and win the lead part of Marc in Rent. It also tells a very personal, emotional story of how he dealt with his mother's long, hard battle with cancer.

Rapp was living in New York city, but would fly back home to see her. Every visit, he would wonder how she would look, and how she would sound.

Rapp tells stories that highlight the different family personalities that come out during tough times. And then, when talking and singing extremely touching songs about his mother as she was close to death, he screamed feelings that I think many caregivers are afraid to even think.
Rapp doesn't hide his anger. Why did his mom have to be sick like that? Why did he have to see her like that? It was heart-wrenching and uncomfortable to hear; but also strangely inspirational.
There are definitely angry caregivers out there; and I think it's important for those caregivers to know that it's OK for them to feel that way.
Some of the experts I've talked to for Take Care! tell me that most of that anger is rooted in the situation, not at the person. When a loved one is sick or dying, it's actually 100% normal to feel upset, and even mad. But, many caregivers don't allow themselves the freedom to experience those kinds of feelings. They work hard to block any negative feelings out; so that they can go about their job of trying to keep everyone happy and calm.
Part of the reason so many audiences love Rent is that it sends out a big message for people to do what they need to do to LIVE with disease; instead of die from it. Rapp seems to support that way of thinking and has formed healthy thoughts about pushing through tough times to get to the other side. He joined the Board of Directors for a NY based caregiving support group called Friends in Deed.
After the show, I got to talk with Rapp about Take Care! and about the caregiving themes I felt coming through in his show. He agreed to an interview for the book. I'm looking forward to talking with him.
j.

Online Support for Caregivers

When you're going through a caregiving situation, it's easy to feel isolated and alone. The truth is, of course you are not alone. More than 50-million people in the US are volunteer family caregivers. Many are going through the same kinds of struggles that you are going through.
Studies show that caregivers tend to withdraw from social situations, and even friends...partly because they feel they just don't have the time to commit to anything for themselves.
Staying connected is so important for your mental health, and I love what one organization I know about is doing to help caregivers stay connected---on their own time, without even having to leave the house!
The National Family Caregivers Association (celebrating its 15th anniversary) is launching e-communities around the country to help family caregivers to be able to reach out to others near where they live. These caregiving communities have already been established in Michigan, Nebraska, New Jersey, and Virginia, and more are on the way!
Through these communities, people register and then email others to begin conversations, and share helpful information.
I am looking forward to the opportunity to interview Suzanne Mintz, president and co-founder of NFCA for Take Care! Her personal story of caregiving is inspirational, and her crusade to make life easier for other family caregivers has wonderful support and power. I just received a copy of Mintz's book, A Family Caregiver Speaks Up, which offers information regarding how caregivers can best work within the healthcare system, as well as discussion on the effects of public policy in a caregiver's life.
Mintz has been on the Today show and other national programs as a strong advocate for caregiving issues. I'll keep you posted on when I'm able to have a discussion with her.
j.

Good Night!

Caregiving and sleep deprivation can go hand in hand. Our bodies desprately need sleep though, and it's important to try to find ways to increase the length and better the quality of sleep. The Take Care! chapter on Sleep has been keeping me up at nights lately.
I've been finding out some really interesting facts about the critical role that sleep plays in our lives. I've come across some pretty startling statistics about sleep---actually lack of sleep---too:
---The National Institutes of Health estimates 30 million Americans are living with chronic sleep problems.
---A conservative estimate states that 100,000 car crashes a year can be blamed on drowsy drivers.
---People who regularly get less than six hours of sleep a night die younger than those who get more sleep a night.
We work hard during the day and our body-machines need rest to recharge and recuperate. Studies on professional caregivers: doctors, nurses, physician assistants, etc.' show that percentages of errors in medical treatment go up when the professionals are on schedules that leave them sleep-deprived.
If the medical community is recognizing that they need to do what they can to restructure schedules so that well-rested teams are fully prepared to treat sick patients, we family caregivers should certainly pay attention. This is a clear cut example of the need for us to care for ourselves so that we can take care of others.
Gathering Ten Minute Tips for this chapter has been fun. I've learned about supposed sleep-inducing snacks, mental exercises, and even toe wiggling techniques!
Are you sleeping well? Please share your comments and caregiving stories with me.
Now that's enough...get to bed!
j.